Category Archives: learned


Today I read this post. Yesterday evening I went to bar here in Antwerp. I was to late for the live music. The night was not a loss. I stayed until 2 or 3 in the morning talking to some people. Maybe connecting with another through the energy, consciousness and hearing a bit of her thoughts concerning me.

I had a dialogue with the man next to me about people. It was difficult to put in to words what I wanted to say. I started talking about it using economy, but that puts up the right or wrong of the economy. That was not what I wanted to talk about.
No. What I wanted to talk about is not exclusive to the economy.
We are al in roles. a treadmill. The Stanford University prison experiment shows that. Other psychological experiments also show it.  Every role puts blinders on. The blinders makes us zombies. Blind to what we do. Only seeing the seeming need that needs to get done. Our fellow humans fall by the wayside. Ourselfs falls by the wayside.

As a child we question not our parents over what they give us. We question not our teachers. Our parents do not question what they give us. Growing up we are told , taught, disciplined how to life. Step outside that how and they retaliate. Besides that we also have desires and talents.Which we inherit. We are brought up in a world where all those that are not family have to pay. A friend may get free access or discount.
Why ?
It is written in the post. Hierarchy of openness. ( read it)
Why is that ?

The problem is deeper than humans. Deeper than mammals. Maybe deeper than plants.
All animals have that hierarchy of openness. What I wanted to talk about was not even exclusive to humans.

solutions: escape,hide,shield or fight,struggle or solve. Only the full truth solves it ones and for all.
Humans we are. One can only start from where one is. Solving the problems of our society ones and for all is to solve ourselfs.


I lie to myself continuously

You read the title correctly.

What is more everybody does it. It is something done automatically.

I was reading the book “Zen and the art of motormaintenance” I wrote a review on facebook about it. I notice that when I wrote about what happened to me when I read it I blame the book. Then I realized that was not true. What happened to me I did myself. Inspired by what I read and by thought, associations, a tale got spun n my head.

the facebook post (in dutch)

When I am angry with a person I think about them in bad terms. Like bastard, bitch and so on. even when I know the person and there from know those thoughts are not true.

The above are not continuous situations.

When I look at people I see not the truth, because I look not for the truth but for matching with assumptions and judgements. I also do not look for what is going on and what is the cause.

I look with a narrow  and opinionated mind. With such a mind HOW can I – everybody,anybody –  do the right thing?

On the side.: This is sort of the reason why I am more afraid of the general public than of Donald Trump. He has a growing and International opposition, Including members of establishment. The general public has no opposition for it self. Except for the last straw that broke the camels back. It is also the reason we are in the mess we are in. To some degree.

writing this means I am aware. At least about that.

Is there however a salvation for those that are aware. Yes. Look for the truth. Look at the dirt for clarity about the dirt and what . It grows. You recognise more and more that what comes up in your mind is an opinion.

It is not just lying to your self but also placing things in your mind haphazardly, sloppy. You can only place things in your mind if you find a fit.

my road so far

This post is inspired by

My spirituality.  It started around the beginning of the summer or of 2006 some eleven years ago. Oops not true. It started earlier. with meditation.  Or even earlier when as a child I read comic books. Those books did not take me away, as we are acustomed to think of it. It’s my imagination spinning in my head the scenes of the comic book that took me away. For nothing but the love of adveture. That is also spirituality. But not that of buddhism, shamanism, christianity, islam, communing with nature. No that is of a different nature.

2006 though was a year that started something. Better said something (‘s) was/where started then. Struggle. Growth. Falling and getting up again. Recognising my nature. Fumbling, luckily not lethal but definitely very painfully to the point of being made in some way incapacitatted. ,Although it should have been much worse considering. I did not have bronchitis

A friend said I’m strong. I was surprised to hear that. But that I overlooked my situation and I had to agree. He is strong to. He has Multiple Scleroses. Doctors are baffled be how well he does. according to them he should be paralysed a long time ago. With this on my mind now I feel some crying , no tears though,  from happiness and sadness. I have felt despaire over my condition. Understandable. But it does no good crying over spilled milk. And quoting monthy python : when your chewing on life’s gristle don’t grumble . give a whistle It does no arm crying a little. It can give relief. After, I can breath a little easier.

I just started a page to further and in depth tell this story. It gives it then a more permanent nature than this blog post.

The rest of this post shall be reflections on my myself inspired by the writing of  Sascha Hjort.

Thank you Sascha.

What life am I going to live ? Not coasting. One of exploration, learning. Learning what makes us, me included tic. Not out of idle curiosity but out of need. Need for myself for humans. for a better future. This will cause me to have interesting times ahead.

To learn what I need I must for the foreseeable future not go to university. For there my time will be spend filling my head with knowledge. A lot of knowledge in a relative short amount time. No I must learn what it takes to learn. oops I already know that. It is wrapping my head around it. twisting , turning and scaling  how I look at it until I get it. Voila I know what it takes. If you recognise the previous than you also knew. Do I also know how ?

Wrong . That is also not what I currently need to gain. I need to clarify, make clear what I learned so far. Take it out of the castle in the sky and put in my house on the ground.

After having learned what makes us tic I need to apply that to show others.

My days as wallflower will be over then.

have a nice time

Signing of

Guy Bongers De Buck

Medtitation failed , meditation succeeded meditation, meditation succeeded.

Learned this afternoon.

A real struggle it was.

Pain. Excruciating it was.

Like nettles


Going from my teeth to the top of my forehead.

I dealt with it in my usual way

Meditatively.Being present in it, staying calm.

Didn’t work. The pain lasted.

Until I had a thought.

What if it is different.

II went from being present in the painful spot to being present broadly.

Like from looking at a spot, a branch or a tree to looking at the forest.

More literally I set my awareness to be unassumingly , non directionally receptive.

I heard a mantra. “It is physical”. Repeating.  “Hee what” I thought then.

The pain went away then.

If I had not changed focus. I would not have succeeded.

At first mediation failed. With hindsight not surprisingly.


Meditation failed , meditation succeeded meditation, meditation succeeded.

It worked and it didn’t.

I want to continue writing about the right way. But I get stuck so I stop.

Bye. until next time.

Walking a path few seem to travel

blokkage lifted, needs revealed

New revelation.

resolving a internal problem gives energy.
After stumbling – we all do -, up came a stumbling stone, from the chaos in my head. Solving it I can go on.

I was adding to the chaos in my head at first. After hours I had enough. I lay down and meditated. I realized that my head was filled with adrenaline and such, adding cobwebs, besides rushing. I needed to flush them.

My focus was already in the area. when you want to flush something you opoened the gates. That is what I imagined – as an instruction – doing to my brain. It worked. The pressure in the area lessened and with the flush came a problem to the surface. It revealed a skeleton in the closet, a dead animal in the creek.

Sometime earlier I was walking in a local park, at night to increase my harmony, meditate, yoga ,tai-chi (I prefer calling it wu wei).
I crossed path with some Moroccan youth. When they where behind me they threw stones at me or at least in my general direction.

I had not provoked them. but they threw those regardless. I do not know  why. I an imagine several reasons and assume one of them is true. But to assume is to make a fool of you and me. I walked on staying calm, but beneath my awareness I was in shock.

I Imagined what their motivation could be. But maybe it is wrong.

back to the present of this counting. I was laying down. And up came this conflict, back to the surface. I struggled with it. Having two mind on it.

One  angry at them Wanting to smash their face in.
another not satisfied with that, but seeing they have a problem, me being a victim of them. Really of their problem – which they possessed at the time -. Must blame the real cause and not the carrier.

Laying down, meditating, seeking enlightenment – physical ( cobwebs) and not physical (the conflict) –  on my problem. I found that solving the latter solved the first. Giving me energy.

It became clear I could not let it hanging, When I realised I needed to deal with those Morrocan’s in a positive ,healing way,  and I needed a second thing. I have a need to express.

This is expressing.


Guy René Bongers's photo.

I walked the red line As long as I was not working on my near-sightedness my feet stayed stress-less. De walk lasted more than 3 hours. I started with  loosening exercises at home. That went well.  Then I remembered that that walking gave extra.

I could keep the lose, relaxed.

The complete picture requires more explanation :
Relaxing, opening, expanding, freedom of motion, light step, moving in flow, stopping thoughts ( for brief moments), low stress. not traditional motion.

Traditional doing that is more limited. Because it reduces, clenches, grasps. In taichi (Taoism) they train not to do that.


Picture: spread your arms relaxed, breathing in. Like you do in nature, forest, mountains…  Well, that’s it, in a nutshell.
How your body, spirit, is then.

I just realize that’s not everything, or maybe it ts.

The autonome nervos system, and the cardiovascular – hart (cardio) and veins (vascular) is also important.  youre getting some latin with this message too.

Eq.: Problems with sore feet (stressed)  do not happen then.

To put things clear. I’m walking in a trance then.

How you do It then. The million dollar question.

Spirit, intention, “my wish is my command”.  It is sort of like imagination things, as in kid play.
Doubt, anger, open-minded,…. are inspirations, invigorations . Like the founder of Jezuïts Ignatius_of_Loyola discovered, reading books, while lying in a hospital bed. He gave exercises for them. He isn’t alone,mind you, the boeddhist, taoist… also have there own.

Thinking about relaxation doesnt relax. So relaxing is not a thought exercise.
Ist is a inspiratiional, vibe exercise. music inspires.
This is becoming quit expanded, funny.

It is therefore an exercise in inspiration and de-inspiration. You inspire and  your body follows.
Your wish is your command.

Mind you though when dictating an inspiration to yourself. the dictating bit isn’t inspired.

eg.: relaxing. The relaxer (what’s that) isn’t relaxed. You can do that separately, or include it.

Don’t worry. It is  not as complicated as it seems.

The exercise above. It’s  easy.

Breathing that nature your giving yourself inspiration. That’s the game. Notting more to it.

When your playing a video game you have an inspiration, a vigor .

Seems clear to me.

You can chose an invigoration. When your reading, riding a bike, walking, computer, sex. you do it with standard ,automatic, inherited inspirastion, vigor.
But you can chose,change the vigor.

Taichi exercise : simply moving calmy or exercising inspiring, invigorating the mind an body with calm, openness, energy, freedom.


My body lye’s head off my brain in following relaxation, invigoration, inspiration, but it gradually catching-up


The additional of this message has become more important than the simple message of that I walked.

Reporting  fromt the viavia café, signing off.