Today 2-10-2017 I was in a biostore. There I got upset. Having come home I went to community center next door to talk. I started to talk  and the listener said I was talking about something that could be said at a casual, chit-chat  moment like when where eating together, but he said that he had the impression that was not what I wanted to talk about. I was stunned. It was true that the talk was from a need. Was his understanding correct ?

He was right about it being a need. But was what i was saying not really what I need to talk about? Although I had originally thought it was.

It made me silent and thoughtful. He proposed we could talk about it tomorrow while we eat together.  I responded that was probably not going to happen because 1 if had worked through what I had needed to talk about then I no longer would have a talk about it; It at least would not be “needed” talk. 2 Tomorrow would be different time thus different topics.

He probably was right. It has occurred many times here that what I ended up writing was not what started out wanting to write about. It seems I got on a track to talk that didn’t contain the essence of what I wanted to talk about.

Which brings me back to my previous post “distinction and dimensions” that ended not completely with what I wanted to write about.
The writing there about different kind of thought and where they seem to be located came up as I was writing. That post was not intended for that.

Back to this post.

When I was at home think it through.

What came up was that we

  • take things for granted, we accept the status quo.
  • we lead a chit-chat life. Like nothings wrong
  • we talk about problems, crises-es  but carry on living as usual.
    No rolling up sleeves, standing up and following better judgment.

We are not awake. We are to busy watching soap-operas.
We need a entertaining, rallying frame work to dig deep in our wallets and sponsor a good cause.

We lead a casual life. We accept terrorism. We accept unemployment.
We accept political leaders that have been warned about radicalization and that ignore it. We cannot say “wirr habben das nigt gewußt”. Political misconduct has less rallying power than our favored football team.

The flower power people of the seventies had more backbone than we do.

Why do we accept so much thrash ?

We reap what we sow.

It is not Trump we should be afraid of.

The casual way of our life is more dangerous.

Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil (public library) by Hannah Arendt.

this insight, and post is not enough. It lacks depth and width


Distinction and dimensions

I chose distinction as title for various meanings.

  • distinction : telling one from another.
    Tonight 29-sept I managed that.
    instead of putting,falling,finding the thruth place for things.
  • Achieving distinction

How to write this ?

I’m at home now. It’s late at night. Past midnight. Twilight Time.

How far does one get with something that does not make sens ?
Or for which one has a erroneous sens. Which may be called superstition, or assumption.

(to stitch above, a top > superstition. )

Not far or in the wrong way.

Unfortunately that is where we start from. And most stay there. Even educated ones.

The distinction I made tonight. (Phil Collins :tonight)

It’s like distincting the left hand from the right hand.
Learning that the hand I am holding is wrong. Barking up the wrong tree.

In the past I learned that as I was silencing myself meditatively. I was really blocked, closed. Naturally I dropped that.

Or when I became aware of my current frame of though I slipped, flipped to the opposite or wider frame.

Or I hear or read something that give me a lift, Hey that’s it.

That describes basically my process of progress.

I was some year’s ago In a group of psychiatric patients talking about how their doing, There was one man in that group when he spoke It was like my head was submersed in lead. I struggled to lighten it. I could not. It was when the next person spoke that my head was lightened, He was cheerful, the previous I later learned was a trouble man, as trauma. He breath of fresh air that gave.  Today I met another person from that group again.

Time for some analysis. What was going on ? Why was my head in a clamp when 1 man spoke, but lightened when another spoke

What influenced me ? Think about it and let us know Your perception.

As I sat to write this I noticed. some things with regard to thinking and where it felt that they occurred. There seemed to be a distinction in location.

There seemed to be a “private” thought, In hindsight it is what called pondering,wondering, It seemed located high up and in the center of my brain. Apart from that, Distantiated. There seemed to be “public, expressive” thinking. Which seemed to be located underneath and more to the front.
After that I had a surprise which thought-wise seemed to occur ,brain-wise, before the center and high.

thinking on different levels

dryly put in a list. which I wrote first, but is put behind the “wet” story form.
I do not want to put of any readers.

“public” “private”; “linguistic” , “others”

  • -“public” “expressive thinking”
    That feels like its located in a different part in the brain than the “private” thinking. Namely beneath and before.  Like a belly beneath a chest. Or like a bowl underneath  the private part.
  • private thinking seems now a misnomer. maybe to some degree.
    Based on a new experience just now.
    “surprised” thinking felt like it was before “private” and high.
  • What I called private thinking seems therefore to be better called
    source, origin, well. It is known as pondering.

oops : writing,conceptualizing this is not a race.
I got to lay of the whip (the h in whip makes sense (( think about it)). No Yai Yai Yai. Spurring on mi horse.


Block vision

I had a vision.

I lived in Antwerp. Trying to remember when is difficult. At first I get nothing except for a sensation of activity. I wait and after a few second a thought appears that it is not going work. I continue waiting and fear and short of  breath sensation in the brain appears.

The block vision
I was in space and a meteor came toward me, or I came towards it .
It was a bit high. I tried to push it away. I tried that several times.
Each time I failed. Then the vision changed to me flying over it.
I saw a rough surface. faces appeared and disappeared in the rock face, one after the other.
Some faces where easy to spot others where behind a feature of the block.

The vision changed to a city in space through which I flew. That did not last long.
After which the vision ended.

I am curious what you make of this vision.

Stepping stones

basebal analogy to karma

karma. throw slam catch from base to base

Torii. stepping stones. blinded

touching base

touching base not easy

The shirt is mine. the other pics not. expect for my use of them.

One thing leads to another.

Yesterday put me on A base.

I saw a performance  ( ) . I was moved. First base.
It was her first solo performance. It’s about love, infatuation, one night stands, going to a medicine man to help her find her soul mate – didn’t help -, singing in different musical styles. etc.
I enjoyed it. But after the the show I was sitting in the bar. Alone. Looking around. next to me in a corner was a little tree.  I looked curious at it. I the noticed what spirit I had. A negative one. When I looked back at the people I couldn’t feel it. Blocked. When I looked at the tree I touched base. To some degree.

I walked  around a bit there, looking. Not feeling comfortable. paying attention to my mind and feelings.. I ended on top of some stairs overlooking the people. Standing still for a bit. I left in a perspective mood

walked in the city, ending in the bar “den hopsack”  “where everybody knows your name” Cheers.
While walking I soon stopped at the corner of a street, looking  around. After a few minutes I continued. I was in no rush. I was to some degree at ease, at peace. Another base, gate.

At some point I recognized that “touching base” as in sensing,unveiling the truth, getting clarity is what I needed. but also what everybody needs.

troubles well

kinds of troubles:

  • biological
  • spychological
  • spiritual

Sources :

  • ego, identification, self
  • others
  • self
  • personality
  • media
  • suppression
  • lack of insight
  • lack of compassion
  • compassion

We have different facets. Each facet can give problems.
We are born with values for those facets. In other word, no tabula rasa, no clean slate. Acquiring one is a Taoist goal. As we live , which begins before birth and continues until death, they get filled.

.   A Cup of Tea

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”

“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

emptying cup or cleaning slate.

Are we the only ones with those facets ?


You ?

What do you give ?

I did a workshop writing. I was scared and axcited.
It improved me. It will improve you if you do it.
Exercise in creativity. letting words come to me.

When it ease you have nothing to learn. Wen it is difficukt do not cringe, let you brain free, let it work. Do not cramp it.

How about you?
What are you learning ?

Hats of to us.
We take the cap of brain. no but. It is the butt of live

give joy

Typed at a concert Enjoying it. Not criticizing.
It is fun that way. It is true that they are not masters and no in tune. I do not mind. I enjoy never te less. If find them at fault Then I am at fault. I am enjoying there discord.
They are playing some dixie like music. Sure well played harmonic music is beautiful.

They invited peole to dance. I was the only one to dance. I danced with silly mood. Pretty in concord with the music. At the end I bowed.

I gave joy to myself.